maanantai 16. toukokuuta 2016

suffocating me

Ok, a bit challenging to write now. one of our kittens has this habit now, he comes to my lap when I write with laptop. He sleeps so peacefully there and I dont want to wake him. I´m such a weak front of him!

But, to the point. It´s a bit scary, also tempting, maybe depressing..feeling. You know, that you have something.. something big, inside of you. Something that you want to do, you need to do. Something, that you, that you were meant to do. Only thing is...you dont know what it is. 

I feel this...fire... something..inside of me. It is there. But for some reason...I´m afraid? Or something... to look at it. It´s like in my throat, there´s a some plug in there. It´s suffocating me, slowly and yet..I can feel that fire in my stomach. Does that sound crazy? Yep, maybe... 

I have had this image of me for so long. Like..because so much bad has happen to me and had a rough life..so..I´m not really the right person to succeed in something. With that though is really hard build something, I know. But that though of me, that was my image about me. Like I felt, still do, that I´m not pretty enough. For some things that I want to do. Even those, who do it for living, has said that I´m totally good enough...Yet...I feel like elephant. 

I have put myself to position, that I´m lower than others. I have done it well. Now..there´s some cracks in my thoughts but... can I trust those? Do I really have, what it takes? Can I let go from my ghosts and believe in me? Or is it just illusion...

It´s funny...or sad...how others thoughts about us can be so different. That´s why we need that positive feedback from trusted people... so we can go even further. 

I know, I need to something about my self image...just I dont know what. 

One thought... can it be or is it just dream? Which one I believe makes a huge difference.   
Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trusting yourselfKuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trusting yourself

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trusting yourself


Something to think about..

with love,
Maarit



2 kommenttia:

  1. Maarit, I think you need to trust yourself and go with that fire in your belly... it is better to try and say oh well... than not to try and say what if... xox

    Have a wonderful week <3

    VastaaPoista
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