Sometimes I think, that nothing has happen, sometimes I do realize that something has happen because my clothes are getting so big..
And I do have a goal. I needed this change, not doing this for nobody else.
I take pictures just to... well, maybe I start to realize, how much I have already done.
First one is about 7 months ago, second is just 3 days ago.Funny, how, even it´s positive, our mind can get confused about changes....
But, back today´s episode. I went to grocery earlier. It is hot in Finland and I thought that I put skirt and normal top. I mean, totally normal clothes, but I havent use those in a long time, because how I felt with my body. I tried to cover up in any way I could.
So, today, I put those clothes and actually felt good in me!! I know, my muscles has grown a lot ( that´s my point to do this, too) and...well.... firmed up a lot. I was like a school girl, both exited and a bit confused. As I was younger (thinner) I was wearing all kind of clothes, I love rock-style, wild...
As I stepped in to store, I felt like..am I ok? Do I look ok in this? Like I said... still getting used to this transformation..
I took what I needed and headed to checkout. There was one older woman in front of me and I had to wait some time. One woman, that I have known many years came there too. First she didnt recognize me, but when she did!!! Last time we saw, when I was so much bigger...then I was ok. Now?? Really... she gave me this bad eye. Looked from head to toes and my arms... and she looked so angry. I went totally confused! What the ¤&## I have done??? Is this clothing so bad??? What?? My transformation was too much... I should stay like I was, I was kind of harmless then.
Really, this sounds so stupid! Why cant people do something and just feel good without that "bad eye" from others?
First reaction from me was...I ran to car and away! Fast! I DO look stupid! One tear came, too... then I started to think about that... why do I have to feel like this, if only I want to be healthier? I do have this right, to do what ever I want to do with my body. And if I feel good, no need to hide it! I can wear what ever I want without anybody´s opinion... I dont go around and judge, what others wear? That´s why I dont understand that kind of behavior... I never had. Never will. If someone wants to wear plastic bag, go ahead! If that makes you happy...
Wow, there it came. Today´s drama :D
Wishing strength to be you, as you want.