First, I was thinking to ask that question: Can one reborn while he/ she is alive? Then I realize that I know that answer already: Yes. Yes, one can reborn in so many ways.
In past I have reborn in so many times, so many ways... That,..I realize now. It took so many years for me to get it.
All those things that I have gone through.. all mess I have been in... after the storm, I was born again. Every mistake, every stupid thing that I have done...I died a bit, so I can reborn and be more wiser. I didnt know that then... no. I just did things, that I´m not proud of... I treated me poorly. I took me to situations, that were dangerous... maybe...I played with fire and for me, it´s a miracle that I didnt burn.
Past is past, I cant do a damn thing to change it. Nor would I, if I had a change? Probably not. But, keyword is: it is past. I´m not that girl anymore, not that little girl...she was lost.
I did die, and rise again.
But you know.... I´m doing that again! I am. I´m building me again, to be best me that I can. I want to see, how far can I go. I want to see, who I can be. I think, that I havent done that... well...ever? Not like this.
When I was young, I did what others want. Now...I´m doing what I want. That´s my freedom.
For the first time in my life... I dont have resistance, panic, someone who want´s to tell me what they think that I should do. This time it´s me. And I´m also counting on me. I answer..to me.
That, I have to tell you, feels so good!
First, I just did things. Without knowing nor thinking that it´s really me doing this. Yesterday... I started to think that more. I have work out hard last half year, I have shaped my body so much. And I didnt appreciate that too much. I didnt appreciate my hard work. Now, as I look back... wow, what a road! And that is still continue.... But.... Half year... in every week in gym 4 times, aerobic workout 4 times... every day, on my diet. I have been tired, oh yes... I have. Still, my hunger is so great that I cant stop until I´m there where I want to be: better me.
I have lost so much kilos, so much centimeters and yes, I have get muscles. Before, I was just dreaming about this... and all the time tools were front of me... It was my old way of thinking saying to me: others can, you cant. And I believed. I was assigned.
I packed my old clothes and put those in basement because those were too tight. I never though that I will fit in those again... but now!!! Those are big!
This journey is very important to me, not just because I want to look better. It´s more like I´m doing things that I couldnt believe 10 years ago, that I´m doing these...
It´s important for me becaue I can do... you know? I´m winning my old way of thinking here. And that feels good!
:) with love