sunnuntai 24. toukokuuta 2015

taking another look

I didnt write in this week too much, because it would have been hard words. This week tested me so badly. It tested me both physically and mentally. I was sad, mad, tired, confused... all of those. I was that even yesterday. Now, when I woke today... I knew, that I need to look in the mirror and try to do something. To chance that mood. And yes, there has been real reasons, why I have been like that. Now I need to re-thing how to react those challenges.

As I look back... I lost that whole week just to stress...and feeling bad. That time I cant get back. But that makes me sad....lost too much time to being negative and not to be able to see those good things. Actually...I feel that I have been like in fog all week....

And here´s my time to wake. I´m hurting myself too much inside, eating that good and positive away. Cant do that any more.

I need to be more open..more understanding. Sometimes, when someone hurts you by saying something hurtful... well, I do react strongly. Of course there are moments, when only way is react so.. otherwise people will run over you. But in smaller cases... maybe I need to breath and let it go.
In my past, I needed to fight so much, that I think that I´m still tired of that. I needed to fight to just keep me alive. I couldnt let my shield down because all those bad thing would have been eating me alive. And I do mean that, it was fight to survive.

Now....I truly dont have that to worry about. No...but my reaction is still in such a level, like it was then. survive..I need to lower my normal level, what ever that is.

I´m both proud and happy that I have gone through so much, and I survived alive. But the price from hard life is.... toughness. When so called normal life is in order...peace... inside of meis this wolf still. But... trick is.. how to handle these normal things..stress... without waking that beast to fight so hard?

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about finding balanceKuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about learning to live with the beast inside

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about finding balance


with love

8 kommenttia:

  1. Maarit... I've been going through the same thing.. I had so much to deal with when I was younger that I totally over react to things now... I need to act more calmly too...I'm working on it... we can do it together ♡ xox

    1. Oh Launna... we have still so much to learn.... sometimes..too strong... we can, together <3 xox

  2. aww i feel you, im currently going through this right now and sometimes i feel like giving up and just like Luanna im doing something about it because we can go all through this and be happy in the end <3
    Anyway dear, im inviting you to join my giveaway here >> BLOG GIVEAWAY <<

    1. Thank you Sarah, and you are right! In the end... there´s a rainbow! <3 Thank you for inviting, I will come there :) <3

  3. I feel exactly how you feel and I have been struggling with this too from the past 4 days. THis is encouraging that I am not alone because its scary and at times I react more than i would have wanted to. My insecurities and doubts take the better of me and push me in the dark.

    But there's always a way out. Light at the end of the tunnel.
    You will get there :) No doubt.


    1. Thank you Tooba, and I´m happy to hear, that I´m not alone either! Thank you for sharing this :) There is, always... just sometimes we need to fight harder to not fight.. We will get there :)

      Love, Maarit


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