lauantai 16. toukokuuta 2015

getting there

Hi there!

Last week has been full of nerve-racking, tight, full of emotions, disappointments, insights moments. I havent sleep well in all week, because my back. And... thoughts. I was stressing lot´s of things, that had to be done. Also, I had to wonder about friendships.

To be able look things from distance is a gift. I do not have that, not in that moment, when I need it. (But I´m trying to learn!)

I have been  disappointed with one person. That is so sad, and maybe I´m taking it too sensitive..but I have believed that any relationship is a two way street. And it is. So... my reaction, when I truly feel that it is staying quiet.

First I write a lot and share things.... then, when I feel (and yes, see from writing) that other dosent want to share things like before.... that makes me think that I was ok when I was needed.
This is long story, but that main point is that I feel used.  I dont know, if it so black and white-thing.. but my reaction is retreat.

These are those things that gets to me too much. I feel and think too much. I just cant stand unfairness too well... Even thought I need to let go of  my guard in so many thing, this is where I need to grow it a bit. Letting go, and not think it too much. Not to take it so, that I will loose my sleep.... that´s not good for me. I know... It´s just.. if I feel that I have been treated unfair..Oh well, need to try to look that bigger picture of life. I shall try!

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about friends who don't care
Ok, that a strong statement, but sometimes true....Not all people do that. No no..

Then back to this bigger picture.
My coach said, that he will continue to work with me another 1/2years. I´m so happy about that. My goal, dream is so much closer. I do need his help, and I´m gonna achieve my dream. But you know....I´m not totally sure, what´s my ultimate dream? Does that sound funny?

I know, that working out, losing weight is part of it. It´s like I´m doing it and the faith it self is guiding my way. I wok out, for some purpose. That much I know. But that destination? Not too sure... I feel like now I need to enjoy the journey and that will relieve me, when it is time. I took a lot of stress earlier, about this. "I need to know NOW, what is my destiny." I dont. That will come to me. All I need to do is follow my heart and work. Do how I feel. Trust that feeling, that I´m on my way to something that need to be.
I dont have to know everything now...

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trust your instinctsKuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trust your instincts 

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trust your instincts

with these thought and
with love

2 kommenttia:

  1. Maarit... I know that feeling of being disappointed by a friend... you know I lost my D because of a misunderstanding... it still haunts me to this day that he wouldn't talk to me instead of believing someone who he barely knows... :'(
    I will always forgive him though...

    I hope you can get past what your friend did...

    Message me if you ever need to talk... I'm there ♡

    1. Thank you dear Launna.. <3 I remember, what you told about D... that was so sad.. I hope, that he will come to his sense one day and listen what you have to say.
      xox <3


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