tiistai 21. huhtikuuta 2015

the shadow of our past

Now it's time to just sit, drink my coffee and relax. I have been so busy lately, with training and in homestead. Our girl dog had heat, so it made our male dog so...crazy. Now we are hoping, that maybe...small puppies? 
Today I have been already jogging, cooking, being out and fixing..still so much to do.
I put fire place on, sort of cold, also.

I have noticed, that sadly, some people are living in past. That´s ok, if it dosent concern me. But, when someone starts/continues treating me like when I was depressed and ok, totally out of control.... that´s sad. Those people dont see that hard work, results, me as I am now. And they dont understand, that if you have panic disorder..you are not crazy. 

When I had that panic, some people treated me as a child. As a I had leper. I didnt, I just was afraid. That´s all. Even my pretty close relative said once: she dont know, what´s she´s doing. She has panic disorder. That made me so angry! 
Today, even I´m over panic, I still get angry about that. 

This same relative wanted to control my life, still wants. What to eat, what to wear etc.. What I need or dont need. That hurts me, when someone says to me: you dont need that. And how do you know, what I need? 

That´s the shadow of my past. I think, that I have this weird label in my forehead the rest of my life! For me...that´s not fair. Not at all. Ironic part is, that I know some dirty things about those.... I´m not saying that, like hahaaa! I know thing or two....I´m saying: nobody´s perfect. We all have out past, out shadows.... 

If one is moving on with her life: let her. Situations CAN change, people CAN can be cured.

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about letting go of someone who hurt you

Ok, time for some more positive talk :). Really, I want to be here more, with you but I´m so tired. I dont complain, because I can see that hard work from mirror! I know, that I have done that change, that work..and no money can buy that. Or take it away. Can I say.... like a shy little girl...I´m a little proud of me now.. :)

Next week is easier, lightened, for my body to recover. Now I have to admit, I´m waiting that so much. 

Also, I love this Spring-time! Flowers are coming, birds are singing and our cat´s and dogs are enjoying. 

Veikko taking sun

Vilma just relaxing

Now I think that I need to take some naps
I´ll be here, even if I´m not writing....

with love

2 kommenttia:

  1. Maarit, people can most certainly change and if others cannot see that... that is their problem...Good luck with the training ♡

    1. Thank you dear Launna <3 And also, you are right :)


Your comment is my pleasure :)