lauantai 28. maaliskuuta 2015

More about feelings

Last post was indeed intense, I didnt read it before publishing. I am still learning learning more about me. :)
Now I find myself in..interesting, hard place...goes along with feelings. I´m gonna make some choices, decisions. Not too easy but I think, that I have to make it.

People in my life. Some has gone though, some are here to stay. But... there´s some things, that I have to think. MY feelings....

First and sister. Since our dad died (we have different mother)... wow, that distribution of inheritance was ugly. That was too ugly. I stood up for myself, after 20years for taking shit... and I had to hire a lawyer. I wasnt that doormat any more. After that....all gone with my sis. Nothing....I see her face in FB sometimes, and every time I fall in tears. Every time it´s like a knife in my heart.
I tried to stay in contact, but that didnt lead´m thinking me. I dont have to be the one, that still hopes...I have to let that go. This is real hard decision.....but I have to think me now. I have to set me free from that pain. I just have to...sis or not.

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about letting go of someone who doesn't appreciate you

So true. And....that goes for some other people, too. I have been thinking, why they want to be around me....answer was sad: wanting something.Trying to control my life, wanting to put me down. Not believing me. And that´s not what I want. Maybe this is me waking up?

It´s like cleaning my life in better for me, making room for new things. Even thought this is making me a  bit sad the same and relieved.

When I was younger, I was doormat. I just could´nt say: no. My mam was quite worried about I will stand up for myself, when she´s past away? (she passed away in quite  young age, cancer) She kind of new, that I´m gonna be alone after that.... but now, I can and I will say no. :) I learned that, in hard way. Makes my life so much does.

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about learning to say noKuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about learning to say no

So, today´s to the gym now!

with huge love

2 kommenttia:

  1. Maarit, sometimes saying no is the best thing we can do for ourselves, it isn't easy because we don't want to disappoint people but in that way we would end up disappointing ourselves instead... we do need to take care of ourselves xox

    1. You are right Launna, so right. I just dont know, why the word "no" is so´s shorter than yes... We do, need to take care of ourselves...that is so true. By that living the life we are dreaming :) xoxoxo


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