I woke late today, cause in night time there´s full moon...and I dont sleep then. Funny, how I feel during nights in full moon! Makes me think so much...things that I havent thought a long time. Somehow it set´s me free?
I have been writing less lately. The truth is...I didnt have any idea, what to write. I mean, in my head I have so much thoughts, but writing those down...seemed like.... well, too much. I wanted to write from my heart, and I have done so earlier...but now? Harder..
Is it, because I´m finally solved some issues from my past and now I´m closer to real me? And by that...harder to show it? Even for me? Could it be, that I´m in that point of my life, that I´m living in present, and that hard past is letting me go...letting me learn how to be me. Without that huge burden, that in my mind..I have classified me?
Now...I do feel like empty canvas, that I can fill how I want. No dark shadows, no bitterness...empty and still so full of.... hope! New kind of believing!
Most of my life I have been carried that heavy weight. Emotionally. All those things, that have happen....It has been rough, Now I see it. I feel so much lighter....funny...
So, something has changed..what? My attitude? Well....partly, but some things just wont get better with pure attitude...have I made a peace with my past? Maybe....So, my brains has worked with me, to accepting my past, setting me free and...here I am! Me, who ever I am... I´m more me.
Greatest gift of all...
This is really funny feeling, I have to tell you. This woman, behind the text...is both more sensitive and stronger that before. She´s learning to fly again :) !!
This blog has helped me so much, I have been written here more than I have ever told even my best friend. This is my therapy, my place to be... source that set´s me free. To be me.