keskiviikko 11. helmikuuta 2015

first step is the longest

It is, almost in everything. Changing your life, going back to old, starting to do some sport..new job..

One thing is for sure in human life: it will change all the time. We can make plans for rest of our life´s, but in the corner of change..there can be big surprise. And we truly cant be ready for it, because we cant tell, what´s waiting for us there.
That´s a good thing, I believe. All those changes takes us forward, teaches us..grows us. Even if we dont want.

There´s always that first step to something new. And sometimes...it ´s more like we have to front ourself..admitting, that I can do better. I havent had the courage to try.

For me, it was hard to admit, that I had made so much excuse. I´m talking this project me now, sports and fitness.

I truly explained for myself why I could´t start it. No need... still, I wanted it so much, in my dreams. "I just have a big bones...I dont have the time....that´s so stupid anyway... I´m doing my best already..."

Actually...I was afraid to take that long step to really work hard. What, if I cant do it, after all? What if I´m not just good enough for it? If I fail???

Oh yes, I did something by myself. I gave 50% . Other 50% was fighting back.... "eat, you you deserve it..."

So, I was vandalizing myself well. I was afraid about the change. I knew, deep inside of me that my goal is gonna take some hard work and I need to rethink myself.

Then I took that first step: I sent email to my trainer. He wasnt that then, but I asked him to help me.
When he said yes, then I knew... change is here. And I need, I truly need to think differently..if I want to  achieve my goals.

First 2 weeks is just did what he said, not thinking too much. For me that works. Do, dont think at first. I took that jump. After I was in it...I fronted me. Why was I so afraid?

Now, after good thinking...I think that I know. It´s coming from my past. Sadly....

I have a friend, and as I have told you..we had a wild time in our past. But...I always..felt like I´m number two. Not pretty enough..my body was´nt too good (it was, but I felt not) I was thinking, in her company: she´s number one, and I´just that second.

Why? Well, in some actions she made me feel so. I just was stupid enough to So I quit trying. I was the second... for me too.

I have never been...well, slender. I was thin, but my muscles did grow..no matter what. And in those days slender was fashion in body types. Next to my friend I felt like hippo. I also have large bones that makes my sholders look big... so I was build to look strong. During 90´s it wasnt cool....so I disliked me. with a help from friend...

Now, as I truly shape my body...do lifting seriously....I like myself. I dont feel like second best in my life...I´m me. That´s it. I have muscle, my body type is strong and hey: for me it´s good. I can still be woman ;)

Taking that first, long step...it release me. I can be the woman I have wanted to be. I´m working hard, and proud of that. There´s no one, who can say to me: dont do.... not good enough. Not even me now.
Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trust yourselfKuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trust yourself

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about trust yourself

Ps... I have lost 4,5kg and still have some muscles more.... ;) On my way to myself!!!


with love
Maarit


2 kommenttia:

  1. That's awesome Maarit... I'm proud of you. Did I ever thank you for always being there for me and supporting me with my blog? I've truly appreciated it... Have a lovely week :-)

    VastaaPoista
    Vastaukset
    1. Thank you Launna! :) <3 Oh, you dont have to thank me....my pleasure. It is! You are, truly, a very dear friend :) Have a awesome week, too :) xox

      Poista

Your comment is my pleasure :)