lauantai 25. lokakuuta 2014

gonna scream it

I DO MATTER! MY feelings matters...my tears matters, my happiness matters. I scream that to me, and gonna make myself believe it, too.

I just came from walk, and I have to say... the most emotional walk that I ever have. Last..oh well...12hours..no..year...well, timeless time has been such a wakening to me. But I understood it about 12 hours ago.
I have, truly, punished myself. Being sorry about my feelings. Maybe even shamed... I have been scared. Scared to face....me. Who I am, what I want...am I good enough? What does someone say, if I dont be like others...If I truly am talented writer and want to write? Why is it shame....?

Why is it shame, that I feel? It is´nt. No, it is not.

During that walk, I faced me. And all that I can be. Not all those negative things, that I´m use to look...more of those positive things. More..real me.
I cried my heart off, I listened me..music..I was thinking..I was with me. And I did hug a tree, to just say...I´m ok.

There´s no such thing that to be taken for granted. Not life, not people..not me. And I know that now...question is: what am I gonna do with that awareness....
I need to pick me up. I need to be able to look at the mirror and look at myself: I´m happy! That´s what I want.

Life just cant be: me me me, you you you...sometimes it needs to be we.
To be able to understand is a gift. To be able to listen, is also a gift. To be able to talk... is huge gift, too. All those together is perfection that leads to feel another human being.

That´s a great way to live...

Did I make any sense at all? Hope so, cause in my mind...it does.



with love
Maarit



2 kommenttia:

  1. I know many people but only one that understands me totally... not sure anyone else will ever get that close to me again xox

    VastaaPoista
    Vastaukset
    1. Oh Launna....I know, you have told...I so wish, that there will be someone...who will get as close as that one... xox or even closer!

      Poista

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