lauantai 23. elokuuta 2014

Can one be too strong

These last days has been....just wow. Full of action, motions and fear. But also joy, believe and success.

It all started few days ago, when my man got sick. Pain as put man in he´s knees. You can imagine, how scared I was! Here in county nearest hospital is 30km from home. And all this happened in the middle of the night.

I could write this really: It was dark and rainy night. Thunder was strong...Because that was, too. As I drove to hospital, my man beside with great pain. How long can short road feel! As we got to hospital, emergency medical took over, Thank God. But that wasn´t all.The Doc in that hospital said, that he needs to have surgery. And guess what? For that..he needs to go to bigger hospital. And that is about 50km from that hospital.
So, ambulance was needed. They came and took him..... I was standing alone in front of that first hospital...and crying. First time. Sky was crying with me! I dont show my worry when someone is hurt, cause I dont want to worry him more. That I learned, when I took care of my mother.

As I drove to home, it was raining so much and thunder above me made it interesting journey!
What a night...

So, my man was far far away in hospital, ready for surgery. I´m home, alone...thinking and worrying..

Next few days was purely so rough, that I wore my self off. But I didnt saw that, no. Because my mission was having him feel better and wanted him just to come home.

Longest days in long time!

But guess what, he´s home now! Came yesterday, and I was and I am happy.
Today my body and mind sort of collapse: my heart was hurting..bouncing more than it should. Also, crying was in order. I was sooooooo tired! I realize that in store, as I stood there waiting in line. I have been so strong these last days on behalf of the other´s too, that I totally forgot me.

I cant say, that I´m too strong...but one thing I know: Dont forget yourself! I truly felt like I was hit by a truck.

There´s saying: one dont cry because he´s weak...he has been too strong for too long. True. I tried to deny that feeling from me: just to be human. It gave me bill today.... not recommend!!!

Now, we both are healing :) Just...what ever happens, take care of you, too!

That is sooo true.. really. Sometimes I have thought about that, why no one asks from me: are you ok? Then I realize... maybe they think that I´m so strong that I dont need to take care of. Well, I do. Everyone does. 

So..stay strong and also..human.

with love

2 kommenttia:

  1. I think we all need to remember that no one is immune from needing some help from others. I'm glad to hear he's home... I hope he's feeling better.. take care of yourself and message me if you need to talk ;-)

    1. <3 Thank you Launna <3 He´s feeling little better... I just might to message! Thank you for being there :)


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