perjantai 2. toukokuuta 2014

fighting with panic

As I have told, I use to have bad panic disorder. Last years (10 or more...) it has been gone. But but...last days it has been here with me. Not so bad as it use to be, but still...Specially Thursday, it was too bad.
I know that I have been stressed and pushing myself way too much, and I didn´t respect my body or my mind. Then I just collapsed. I cried, I was not having air...I tired! We were driving around and I couldn´t go to stores... Too much noise, too much people. And I was so disappointed about myself! Yesterday went just relaxing...It was more like I have been in war or so..

Today, I felt nervous to go to store. I was so angry! I cant start to be afraid again! So, I need to fight this and win.

I took kettlebell hour today. Wow, I must say!!! Still shaking! I had my own instructor, and he made me work! Totally and hard! -One more, you can do it!!! One lap more!!!!

Woh....after 45 min I truly thought that I will die. But!!!! I didnt. Still here ;)

Point was, that I challenge myself enough to put my heart rate high enough to win my panic and stress. Now....after 2h... I feel so good. One thing I know for sure about panic: do not let it win. You, win it!

Sometimes the biggest challenge is to win yourself.

Now, I have a date with m tv...Pirates of the Caribbean and Jack Sparrow ;)

with love

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