As my friend came, we spent 24/7...no, counting away sleeping, 16/7 together. 8 days. For me, that was hard. I mean, not because of company! No, she´s great, but I do need my own time and space. And now I´m strong enough to admit that.
Also, strong enough to not listen...if someone say´s: you don`t run with your ankle anymore..... For my point of view that´s a hard thing to say! So....final.
There´s a little change everywhere, and I rather belive in that than words: never ever. So, she did say that. Ok, but I know me... not gonna give up. And my doc said too, that I´m gonna run.
Then I started to guestion, why did she said that? She´s my friend... Envy? But why... Then it hit me..I have moved on, I have took my changes, big jumps and made my life the way I want to live it. Hard work under this life. If someone is not ready to take those steps, and still is little mean to me.. Can´t help. Really. I´m still living my life, not giving up. I can and will be there to support, but if someone want´s to shoot me down? I just go on... That i learned. After all those years, that I was so lost... I have finally find my way home. By that I mean my inner strength. :)
How do I react my own thoughts, that´s my sea: one day storm, one day calm ;D
Up: my mind ;)
Ps. If you want to know about panic disorder and surviving..ask! I went through hell and back with it. I have one panic disorder blog, but it´s in Finnish. So...easier for me, if you just ask and I will tell you. :) Maybe I will write more about it, here too.