maanantai 31. maaliskuuta 2014

the fear of losing

Can you imagine this? I have so much good in my life, I finally had put pieces together and now! I caught my self worrying.. what if I loose this now? I think, that I have lost so so much in this life, that I´m more use to losing than keeping..

I don´t talk about material now. Or yes I do, a little bit. After I lost my mom, like I told before, my world turned upside down. My dad found this...woman. And I had to survive. There were times, that I didnt ate. But I did survive! I survived from the lost of my my both granny´s, both grandpa´s, uncle and I dont have my sis now. Because of the mess, when my dad past away 3years ago. So, I truly have use to lost´s.

Now, little black humor, I dont have any family to loose, I can relax there. BUT! My family now, is my life.

I have materia, clothes etc which i appreciate now. House, new phone´s etc...and I worked hard for this life!

And I´m afraid...that something is going to happen. But is it really so? Maybe...maybe, I have earned my place now? Can I just relax and enjoy?

I know, no matter what, I will survive...that´s not the issue. But I´m just so tired to survive. That´s a hard work!

Human´s life is all about learning...I think that I have to learn that, that something good can be in my life and I can enjoy. I dont have to be in alarm all the time! New way of thinking to me.... :)


with love

2 kommenttia:

  1. You deserve good things Maarit... don't look for losses... they come regardless ♡

    1. Thank you dear Launna!!!! Thank you so much <3 :) as usual.... You are right. Just funny how human can react!


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