Here´s my letter to me from me, as I am older.
Hi younger me.
I know, that you are hurting now, so much. Afraid and lost your way. Your dad is not the same anymore, he´s drinking because mother passed away. Dont be ungry dear, that´s just he´s way to go on ad he will stop it later. He still loves you, dont even think that.
There´s going to be another woman for he and you dont go along, this time fight. Dont take everything to yourself. She´s nasty, but you are not bad because you have panic disorder. No, you are not. Dont give up on you, things will change for better!
You will have sister, too. She´s great. I know, you feel outsider. You will have your family, later. What you are going throught now, makes you so much stronger. You cant even begin to belive, how strong!
That panic, it´s goint to be hard road. Your panic dirorder is goint to be one wonder for doctors. Hang in there! You will win it one day, and be able to help others
Next 10years is going to be hard ride, and I wont tell you to do thing other way. Not becase I dont care, no. Because I care! You think that it´s waistt of time, life. But I can tell you this: It will be so good one day. All things that will happen, is shaping you who I am today.
Strong woman, who lives her life and enjoy´s the life.
It will be worth all that journey.
You, as 42years old