maanantai 7. lokakuuta 2013

eye of the life

Do you know that song: Survivior- Eye of the tiger? eye of the tiger And movie Rocky 3? Great movie. That theme is maybe oldest, one is down, works hard and wins. But it works! For me.

I have to admit, that i have been down lately. That´s why I havent wrote. I promised once to be honest here. I am. Not so easy thought.

I dont know why, really. Of course there are things in everybody´s life that could bring one down.

But this wasn´t relaed straight to those. At least I didnt saw that. But i gave up. There, I said it.
I just gave up. I was so tired. I didnt wanted to go in FB (one reason kept me there;), not in computer. Actually, all technology that worked in socialmedia, was depressing to me. I was just so tired, didnt know, what to say.

I fought every day to see that good in my life. And I saw more, when i spend less time in computer. Naturally. But, I also saw me. And I didnt like me. Why, I didn´t knew. I just..didn´t like.

Those things that i use to love, driving around, jogging, gym...I hade to ask myself, why? Why I need to go, why I have to drive...Am I worth it? I even asked from me, why dont I just sleep days, there´s nothing to me to do.
I lost that eye of the tiger from my eyes.

Yesterday i didnt wake up with rage, suddenly like new person. But, i felt better. Like I have rested well. I had 5% more energy that day before that. Now, my mind is more wake. There´s growing small hunger for life again.

I know, I havent lost that fighter in me, but it was soooo tired. Maybe, I needed to give some space for that to grow...not fight, live with it. Dance with that feeling.....

Now, I feel that eye of the life again, in me.

Now, I see myself again. New and old. I know, that I still have to fight...raise that storm, to see me and become that tiger. To win.

But you know? That feeling is actually nice. Real. Sensitive, strong. Hurting but alive. I win. I fight. I survive. And even more, I live. :)

With love

2 kommenttia:

  1. I love this song Maarit. I need to start feeling the eye of the tiger again.... I'm VERY fragile right now.. everything is an effort....

    1. Oh Launna!!! Big hugs for you...let´s both find that eye again, ok? Here too, last 2 weeks...


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