sunnuntai 15. syyskuuta 2013

wrong to say I´m happy?

There´s sorrow, hunger, wars....break ups, rush...stress...so much negativity around us. And yes, real feelings! Sadness...

Then someone asks for you: how are you? -I´m fine, living my life. Answer is: Oh, TG SOMEONE is, me, I´m so tired and he/ she said that...I dont have time to do this/that...

I get this look like: Yes, you dont know about sorrow, you live in dreamland...wait..you will see...

Really! I do sometimes. So, is it sin to feel good in these days? Is it better, if I say something like: No, really. My life is a mess. I hate myself now. I´m not worth any good.

Why is it, that good becomes bad? As you know, i have seen that side of life, too. And I´m not dancing in roses, eighter. I just..well..am. I have food, I have my health, house, animals....I have won so much badness and made so much work to be happy. To understand, what I need in my life to be happy.

I cant tell, what is good for someones life, what makes others happy. But when I talk with someone and answer is always: I cant. I´m too tired. I wount. No, i dont want. No no no. It´s that others dont wanna be with me when I´m lonely. They have to be here now, when I´m sad. I wont do nothing to make me feel better.

Well... there´s nothing that I can do then... I belive that will and power comes from inside. Yes, little help for time to time is in order, but the mainthing is will.
Just today, i had to ask for one of my friend: do you want change your life, really? She has difficult situation, but there´s so much she can do for herself. But she wont do. Others have to do.

And that´s sad. I totally understand, that sometimes we are just so tired. Yes, but. If theres people around that want to help...and the answer is always. No, just cant. No. I want this and that. But I wont fight for it. I want it now, but i dont want to do nothing about it.

What can i say there? That´s a choice, too. Choose to do nothing. But then...you cant blame nothong or no one but that someone in the mirrow......

Or am I too harsh? Really! One thing i have learned..I try to help. Yep, I  care for humans so. But I wont be drowned anymore. i will be there in certain point. If that leads just blamings and -I wont- attitude...I have to take step back. I have to take care of me, too.

So..am I a bad person, because i say I´m ok??? I hope not...cause i choose to be happier than I have been......

 


With love
Maarit

1 kommentti:

  1. First Maarit, let me commend you on being positive even when life is not easy... I know it is not easy for you but you always try to find the best in everything... It is okay to wallow for a while but if we wallow all the time we become negative and next to impossible to be around... I love that you look for the good... I too look for the good... it is not always easy when my heart is breaking inside me on a daily basis but I truly have so much to be grateful for that I keep looking for that good and magnifying it...

    So no, you are not being harsh, we all need to remember that everyone is fighting a battle of some sort and we should not drag them down with ours, we should lift them up... so that they can lift another too... :)

    VastaaPoista

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