keskiviikko 5. joulukuuta 2012

growing pain

Indeed i have. I never, ever thought that i would feel like this! I wanna be honest, like i said, when i started this blog. So, i´m gonna be, again.

During my writing my book, i have felt tiredness, crying, pain, healing, growing, rememering, forgeting.. i mean, so many emotions!!!!

And i see now, that it´s so good for  me! Even it is hard road, but i´m gonna walk thru it, all the way. When i write, those what has happend, comes to my mind more alive and i realize that those where all true. I see, how i have survived, but i also see how i have suffered.
Now, i can finally feel those emotions, without fear. I can let them come out. Deal those things. I have professional help, cuz this journey is too hard for me to go alone.

But: Now i see, that my life is what i´m gonna live how i want. I can see, that those who hurt me...there were some reason for me to act like i did, and that feeling..i understand me..that i cant buy with money.

It took me all this years to find myself. Find what do i like/love to do or be. Really, after that, when i was 6years, havent felt...well, good. Me. Clean. Or good.

Now, i´m just beginning my life. Like I want. Not gonna live my life like someone else things that is appropriate. No one cant tell me anymore what i need, or should do.
That´s so awesome feeling!!!!!

This is simply the best what i can do for me. And.. with that book of mine, if i can help even one soul...i´m gonna be so happy!!!!

This is why, i havent had any energy to read other blogs, i have been sooooo tired! But you all know, that you are in my thoughts :) <3

Developing my mind and life, and of course..growing up. That´s what i´m gonna do. Never too late! I´m not gonna take anymore words: you cant, you dont need, you can do without, just take all shit, that´s not important.

If i think that it is important for me or i need somethign..then i really do!
Please, dont settle for second best,  you deserve BEST!!!!!

With love

2 kommenttia:

  1. Dealing with the past and pain is exhausting and over whelming... it does bring peace though:)

    1. It is!! Never thought that i'm gonna be do tired...but you are right, it will bring peace :))))


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