perjantai 28. syyskuuta 2012

hurting and stronger

I started to think my life. My past. Not always so wise, but sometimes i need to go back..Need to remember. Need to remember, why I am the human that i am now, learn..Need to remember those, i have lost. Couse they were once so real.

What has happend in past was real, and sometimes.. i do few things because those thigs that has happend before.

Here i go.. I write from my heart, so no logic here, just my mind flowing..



i was only 6years..when one hurt me first..one man..so much older. Lied to me, gonna take you to watch some horses...yes, right..not guite. But that was real, that happend. One reason, why i hate lies...
14-15years (dont remember so, but something like that) next... again..older man. With lie..i take you home..yep, right.

Hurt... that i have felt. Panic, and so much more happend becouse of that, becouse of debression... lost of my mom..dad...sis..what i give, to have one talk with my parents! And what would they say to me?

I belive, that they have seen my life, what i have done, how i have lived... not always so good things.

Wanna say, i´m so sorry... Just miss you guys so.

Yes, we all do things..learning for those is the key....

Now, back for this moment, back to mylife now.

I am so much stronger, fiter. I dont give up, dont take any bullshit. From no one. Money, cant buy my love, my heart. I will survive, always. Lies, dont take those. Dont belive gossips, and dont care if i´m subject. Gossips are just one form of being envious.

So, am i sort of thankfull for those things, that has happend?? Partly yes...Not so easy road, and sometimes i hopes, that i could have a bit smoother road.. But I am who I am, because of tmy past. And.. could be worse! ;)

I´m proud of being a winner, i fight my way to be here. To be me. And, proud of my life, even if that sounds so weard. Every scar... i have won. Every scar...are teacher. Every scar..is being me.

And that´s why i can be happy now. I have made my peace with my past. I can be honest with my life, with me.




Woh, i think that i dont read this now!!! I want to show my thoughts, and if i read, i will delete something, i´m sure... so... hope not too tought...


Have a good day all
Maarit

2 kommenttia:

  1. It's amazing how strong the human spirit is... it is awful what some people will do to other people... especially children.

    VastaaPoista
    Vastaukset
    1. It is...we have so much power in our mind...people can be just nightmare to other people..animals has some logic, but some people are just mean....

      Poista

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