Lots of people, some are laughing, and some are looking their phone like there is something soooo important.
Well, i´m one of those, who´s hiding behind her phone.
I do feel bothered so often, even there is just people i know! Like i dont know, how to talk. Like..i dont belong there? So funny, couse i have kept me so social...
I havent gone ANY tupperware party, never ever, couse that kind of event makes me feel so weard. I have been similar, and it was like hell to me!! I really didnt knew what to say, and if i said something..it souded so silly.
I thought, that i´m alone with this problem, UNTILL this woman told her story. She had seen some therapist, and he told about this thing "emotional inhibitions".
I havent read about that much YET but surely i will! That, what she wrote.. as just like i feel!
Then i started to think, why i feel like i feel. Like i have told, i had good childhood. No alcohol, no fites...safe. But. Now, when i look back... i have been independent. Since..oh well, i remember! Like 5years...
My mom and dad were at the work, always. So i learned to take care of me. And played alone. I actually enjoyed that.
Yes, i had lots of friends, i always have had. But... at home.. no hugs much. My mom was strong, she had to. She was having a bit different childhood. And my dad..he crew up thinking that work is everything. And it was. He drove truck, and travelled a lot.
So....was i too independent too soon? Yes, i was. And i think that it is affecting my life this way.
It was like a lamp was having lit!!! And this feeling now..wow, i think that i need to do some reading..and thinking. Maybe open few locks?
I´ll write more about this, definitely! First, some food and reading.. ;)
Have a great day all