perjantai 3. elokuuta 2012

free to be me

Oh, such a lazy morning here...my two dogs and one cat are sleeping. One is in bed, one in chair...and the smallest, the cat in soffa... so, i belive that they are ok ;))

I´m drinking coffee, still in my pajamas and writing. Ouside is bit cloudy..so good day to write.

I was yesterday such a mess. I just cryed, and i mean: all the time!!! When i was in grocery, walking around, sitting in garden.. I just was feeling so..anxious! ANd why?? That i did´nt know.. but.

Now, i think i know, a bit better. I dont think that the hole picture has open yet, but small trueth has opend to me.

Even tho i have done this and that, travelled a lot, seen so much life...and i really thought that i´m free inside.. i was´nt. Not as free as i want. I have been holding back, something big.

Creative work is something, that keeps me going,  but i havent use the hole capacity, that i have. In writing. And..with me. What i really can be.

I havent treat me so good lately. Those things that matters, inside stuff... Yeah, I have this huge fear, what will happend to me, with this back of mine. BUT: that´s not a reason to ignore the rest of me!!

First things first... make up. I have been s tired, that i havent use any. And that´s ok, dont need to use always, but... i love to put some make up. Really. It´s amazing, what you can do with different colors, and shadows and lights..
So, i bought new make ups yesrterday, and i´m gonna put something on..not becouse i need, just becouse i want. I dont have to wait in one corner, feeling so sad when phone rings

And.. sport..oh well, havent done that in long time!!! even tho i love sports.. so. I can do something, like jooga to start my day... Couse my back dont like to zumba, there´s other things to do.

And writing...oh!!! I realized yesterday, that hey!!!! I love certain types of fantacy books. So, why dont i create my own world, where everything is possible. Imagine, creating hole new world, like you want!!! There´s a power!

I still, of course, will write that other, that´s my baby... but starting to create someting new, side of it... yes yes!! It will take time, and lot of thinking, but what else i will do? I have the tiem of world, and passion for it. so... ;))

Again, love to notice, that in life htere´s always this opportunity to develop, both mentally and as a artist...

That´s a great thing to be human, we are never wise enough to say we are ready ;)

Sometimes it takes just cry out, and open your mind more, dare to dream, and dare to admit that i can learn new all the time.. couse i dont know everything. I´m a student of life...




This is me having fun wit air brush and normal brush :DDD





Have a aweome day all
Maarit

1 kommentti:

  1. I believe in dreaming, I know our dreams can happen... I just have to really believe in them;)

    VastaaPoista

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