This song and lyrics is just so great to describe my thougs:
|Winter cowgirl? :))|
And people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're all alone all you do is think
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive...
- Bon Jovi-
That´s what i feel. I love that feeling, when i sit on my car and start to drive. Where, that does not matter. Just that feeling, when i see open road, matters. I was hiding that part of me for so long, that it ate me inside, couse it´s so burning feeling. Then i accepted it, that it´s what i am, made things and feelings much easier for me. You see, i was told, that it´s not normal, it´s not good and it´s not defenetly appropriate to feel like that! I was stubid enough to belive it at first. But that burning inside of me was so hot and i just could´nt resist it, it´s in my blood. I wanna be free, in my spirit, to do my own things. Not all the time, i mean i dont need to drive wild 24/7, but sometimes i need that.
It took me long time to find myself and trust, that it´s ok to want those things, and it´s ok to be me. If i dont want to do those things, or act like this, i would not be me. And that´s very important! Be youself and happy about that. Choises you make, things you like, things you see.. it´s your life, it is you, who react different things in you´re own way. If you dont like something, you have every right to feel like it. I mean, i see too much peolple try to please another, and forgetting him/herself. It works for a while, but it´s gonna hurt you inside.. and at some time that desire inside of you makes you realize, wake up in you´re own life, in yourself...
And you know what?? It´s not a bad feeling! ;))
Now i´m so hungry, that i´m gonna take that steelhorse of mine and go home..
Have a great day all,