maanantai 6. helmikuuta 2012

wanna break free!!

I have been frustrated, sad, ungry, volatile, sensiteve and stressed all morning. I really dont know, why? I have all basic AND luxury things ok. Money enough, food, 3 tickets to USA  open, good car, outside is good weather, good people around me, my lovely 2 dogs and cat ... new computer!!! I mean, all the material things are ok. And not coplains about people. So, why i want to throw out my phone, kick the walls, scream???  Really??? This is a good way to tell, that money can´t buy happiness. And i´m not depressed eighter, i´m more like.. full of energy and dont know where to indicate it! So, the final conclusion is, that there´s something more important missing from my life.


Usually, when i feel like this, some idea inside of me is simmering. It is in my subconscious and waiting for me to release it...

Is it that now, i dont know that. I try to think, but when i try, my mind start´s to wonder around. Some thougs that i know, that it´s not what i wanted to think. Like did i gave food to dogs, what i´m gonna wear today, which jewerly fits with what.. more shallow things.

It´s like i´m too scared to face something? Or myself? Or could it be growing pains... It could! I belive, that all people grows in mentally all their lifes. At least i hope so..







Right now i dont  get that red line of my thougs, so next few hours i´m gonna be like unstable volcano, ready to explode.. nice..



One thing was so good today: i hade a chance to help one old lady, and of course i took it. Helping others is always one thing, that it´s sincere. When i had my share of living without nothing, and I was depressed, little help gave me a lot...Now it gives me a lot, to be able to help..

Hope i´m gonna fix myself soon, or it is not nice to watch me ;DD Gonna need some good driving, fast, in the woods.. woh, and with Ozzy Osbourne...
I tell you later, when i know, what is this feeling and what it will bring...

So, have a nice day all,
Maarit


2 kommenttia:

Your comment is my pleasure :)