I woke up this morning feeling little grumpy. I was thinking about that same, what i wrote yesterday, you know.. same old same old. I put the radio on and went to facebook by my phone. And e-mail, of course. I took a mug of coffee and seat at the table.
From the radio came this talkshow about one man, personal trainer, how he lives, eats and is taking care of himself. He was getting back to those roots, when there was´nt so much fast food, and how he values himself so much, that really took an effort to eat right, listened his body and mind.
Wow. I realized something in that second. I dont really value my self. Not the way i can.
These days it´s too easy to escape in the world of technology. There is radios, tvs, phones, computers, laptop, macbook, playstations and so on...You dont listen yourself, couse there is so much voice & noise disturbance, you just cant hear yourself.
By escaping from the reality and loosing yourself in different medias,it sort of paralyze your brain, you dont use the full capacity. Of course that is sometimes necessary, but all the time?
I noticed this from myself, while i was sitting and starting to think, what i have done for ME lately?? Others, a lot, but for me? And i dont mean shopping or something like that. I mean really listening myself. e.g i could be more kind to my stomach. I eat food, that is easy and fast. But not so healthy. And my stomach dosent thank me, i can assure that.
So many thing is starting to be so obvious, that i dont pay attention that in some things i remind more like robot. Everybody else do that, eat that, so me too! It have to be good. It´s too easy.
I dont think why i have to eat, i just do so. I dont care about healthy-issues.
I admit, i have neglected myself. I do things with routine, and sometime it is good, saves time when you are in hurry and so on. But sometimes, like morning cleaning. I look at the mirrow, just to make sure that soap is going where it supposed to. And same goes with creams. If i stopped just for a sec to see me, that woman, i could see somethind new, good things about me and not always those meshbacks.
Same feeling when you go to hairdresser, they see you differently that youself. Give you something new to think about and try.
After these thougs i turned radio off and started to listen. First i heard some small noices, like fridge making zzzzz-noice. Dogs were sleeping, caffemaker sounded like big clock. Then i looked out from the window. I saw snow. Usually i look, but not necessarily see. Now i saw two birds, rabbit and more snow, and that sky! Wow! And much more...
Then i start to think myself. My stomach reach immediately, why? I am clearly some sort of source of chance. Words dont come so easy now.. or could it be, that i´m starting to wake for life more?
What is my dream...hmm... i think i know now, but i will tell later. Now it´s time to turn on that radio again and eat something GOOD for me ;))
Have a good day and see you soon,