I´m trying to do this in English, so forgive again my misspellings.
It´s time to start to talk about that, which was a hard part of my life. And there are so many others to suffer it. It is panic disorder!!!!
It started suddenly in -90, and came with force immediately. It did´nt give me any mercy! I was waiting in Helsinki´s centrum to my mom to come, and meet me there. I started to feel dizziness, felt my heart to go faster, i started so shake all over. I did´nt see aroud clearly, i was sure, that everybody saw me going grazy, couse i felt like that!! It was so frightening, embarrassing and i felt like big loser. I really did´nt know, what was going on, i just knew, that i was so scared. And the graziest thing was, that it all happend inside of my head!
Here is one great link to read......
When you get panic attack, no one can really see, what is going on in you´re mind. It is chaos, totally! You are going through so many feelings, thoughts, fears and nightmares, that it discourage you, bit by bit.. before it takes you all. And the people aroud you see only little shaking of you´re hand and wonder, why you have to run away from that place. That´s all.
Then you star to avoid those places, start to avoid more places that you want. Becouse you are scared, and you dont even know what you are scared of! Some people could think, that you are lazy, or "just" depressed...
I survived from that hell, and i wanna tell to everybody, who´s suffering panic disorder, that there is a way out :) Really is!!! 10 years ago I did´nt belive that, I was prisoner of my home....and now? I`m living totally normal life, travelling, enjoying my life.
So, i´m gonna write more about this subject in future, but i´m also gonna write to my adventures, that i´m gonna face in my trip to America ;))))) Again ;)) Just love to be there... And some fashion.. and all the stuff, that comes to my mind.... well, not ALL, but most ;D
Have a nice day, all of you