perjantai 27. marraskuuta 2015

what have you done lately?

Well, not much. Same old, same old. Training hard, days has gone so fast!
Biggest thing, that I have done is..working with my head. Like usually, I know. But now that subject is: how I see me now?
As I told before, I have lost weight a lot and also got some muscles. I am a bit proud, for all that hard work. I looked some old pictures about me and I didnt recognize myself from those pics.

This is, what I have tried to understand now: How I look now. I dont mean that kind of thinking, that do I look fabulous or not, no. I mean, how my body looks in my eyes now. There´s more in to that.
I dont see all that change, not so like others do. I see..well, something is changed, but much? Well..I dont know....maybe?

Of course there´s a big change. But my eyes and brains dont get it. Funny, yes?

Then I started to think...there´s a point, when human, who says, that even thought she/he is small as a doll... maybe having anorexia.. what you see in mirror can be so different that what other sees.

It is so easy to say, look! You are so a bit. When she or he sees something else.

No, I´m not having that and yes, eating with good appetite!

But now I understand, how wrongly I can look myself. My coach said once, that mirror is the worst tool when you are loosing weight. There´s so much emotions involved.

That is so true, When you look at yourself from mirror, can you be neutral? Or do you find those bad things first...

So, as important is to work hard when you are loosing your important, or even more important is to keep your head involved. I can say, it´s both physical AND mental work. Sometimes that mental is harder that pure training.

So, this is what I have done lately. Keeping my head together. Learning to see, what I have done already. Trying to be happy about that. And a bit proud, too..not too much.

Image result for quotes about weight loss emotionsImage result for quotes about weight loss

Oh, and yes: 

Image result for quotes about never giving up

with love

torstai 26. marraskuuta 2015

I have a problem

And my problem is this: I cant write in my own language. I do mean that. I have started so many blogs in Finnish...but I cant make those feel...there´s something missing...I cant express myself in blog, in Finnish. Funny, ha? :) It will sound so boring! My writing...

I know, and you know English aint perfect, far from it. But as I have told, look for that red line..that issue from my writings. (And thank you, so you have done)

But here, I feel more...home. More myself. And here, for me, it´s easier to express myself.

So, why I have tried other blogs? Well...I thought that it would be easier to write in my own language...Now I have tried, and guess what? This  is my home, after all. It is.

Now,after I have figured that out...I dont have a problem anymore! Have I ever told you, that I appreciate you guys so much? Well, I do.

Here´s one for you:

Image result for quotes about champagne 

So, no more testing. I´m home and gonna stay here.

with love

tiistai 17. marraskuuta 2015

Looking for light

I was so decrepit in the morning, like old sock! Ready to cry for such a small things...  I have been pushing myself in so many direction lately, that my mind was screaming: STOP! My body cried me- time. 
So did my mind. I´m happy to say, I have learned to listen myself, finally! I said NO to everybody and decided to take some time for me. Just had to. 

So, I took my camera with me and went some small walk, no rush, no hurry... I started to look light from shadows, those small things in nature... usually my walking is more like running with hurry. So, now I moved slowly.. forced me to look around. Here´s what I saw before I bumped one woman from hoods and we started to hour out there..wearing too thin me, now I´m so frozen up! Like fish stick...

But, here´s light from shadows and those small things:

Always look that light from darkness, it´s there!

I was thinking to write something also, but my fingers are so frozen still.. Cup of coffee and lot´s of warm things...Next time then!

with love