tiistai 9. helmikuuta 2016

trying to balance my life

Hello, time to start this day. Cup of coffee and rainy day. That´s ok! Since last writing..was it yesterday? Or day before that...anyway, I was totally finito mentally. I havent been so tired..well..Can´t remember. Yesterday (yep, last writing was day before that) I started to clean home. I mean, all the way.
My legs felt heavy, but I needed to sort of clean my mind at the same.
I got a bit worried in day time, when I was walking...Usually that´s a relaxing- time for me. Yesterday...my heart was beating so fast...and I was feeling like a bug in tar!

Too much everything...was too much.

So, I started to clean. I put some my favorite music and started. Trust me, those kittens are making real mess! But you know! Two kittens left yesterday, so all is left is our family now. I cant even begin to tell, how relief I am! Now it´s "only" two kittens (yep, kept two...) 2 big cat´s and 2 dogs. :D Thankfully we have a big house.....

One picture really can tell the whole story.. :D

Now.... today... I´m trying to reset my mind. All those negative and angry thoughts, that are hurting me..well, those are real things, but my attitude. Can I make it better? And yes, I can. I need to work on that. Need to give some mercy for me.....

Image result for quotes about pirates of the caribbean

This quote is one of my favorite. So true... 

Back to more me, more positive person. It won´t happen over night, but I´m starting now. Step by step. Funny, that training your body is much easier that working with your mind. That´s a hard work!

And Launna, thank you for being there. I know, I havent been too active lately..but you are in my thoughts!! 

with love

sunnuntai 7. helmikuuta 2016

I just don´t get it

I´m talking about some people. I don´t get them. Is it me, am I stupid or... does so hard- nosed people still exist. Yep, those kind of people are around us, and sometimes it takes time to recognize them.

I have to tell you this....

I had a very hard week. I´m so tired and worn out now.. totally. First, I gave 2 kittens away. For that I was happy, because they need some work. A lot actually. So, I had "only" 3 kittens here. Then that lady called..we cant take these, our son is allergic. Ok, I do understand that. So I took those back. Guess what? I heard, that it was a lie. They just could not handle them....

So, I´m here with five kittens..again.

Then my mother in law fall ill. I mean seriously. I mean ambulance and hospital. That´s a tough one for us.

So...I need to handle all animals, home, try to be strong ( not too good at it now) and with myself.

I was quite happy, when I got a change to go to the stables to see some horses. One woman from close to us has a pony and horse. That was so nice! I use to go and ride so often, when I was young. But when I fell real badly from horses back...I quit. But some small though has been in my head: I want to be closer to horses.

So..we had a chat, that maybe one day I will have the horse of my own, One day, not now. Too much is going in my life and when I take animal, small or big.... well, not giving up easily. Those will come part of my family. Maybe that´s my problem... I dont know.

But next day this woman put´s a text message to me: here´s a good horse for you NOW! Hurry! Let´s go! I tried to tell that now it´s not a good time.
But after I told this.... all changed. This can sound silly, but it feels like she got angry with me, because I didnt take that horse and go to stables together. I mean.... really!? Then I would be stuck with her and that stable. Money involved here, too....

I dont get that. We are grow ups. We have our own life.. why make it complicated? I just cant be like I was younger: just have fun without thinking. I do have a family, man, and I have to take them in my thought´s too. Of course. Somehow I feel like someone want´s to break that.

Ok...she promised to take two kittens. When I asked about that today... I´m not too sure about that now. Sad for those kittens. Really, they are living and breathing being.....not toys or pawns.....

Breaking my heart.... and not knowing, what to do.

One thing I know for sure.... I will take care of my family. That is important.

Next weeks are going to be tough, because we dont know how my mother in law will cope. All I can do is be there for her and my man. Also. keeping my head together... One day at the time. And....one more cat will stay with us. 2 big and 2 kittens. And 2 dogs...no horses. ;)

Woah, what a week....

But hey, I got some new clothes from H&M! For spring.... I love my new dress, and shoes....and jacket.

Ready for spring!!!  :)

All the best, with love


tiistai 2. helmikuuta 2016

peace is gone from my home

As I woke today..I was dreaming about quiet moment, cup of coffee and maybe some time in internet..
That dream was gone, when I walked from bedroom....8 cat´s and 2 dogs needed food, attention, to go out, in, something! I mean, there was huge pack facing me in door gap! Five of those cat´s are kittens, 11weeks old... omg they have energy!

So...instead my quiet moment...I started to give food...first bigger cats, so they leave kittens alone. Then..to those five small ones, who have definitely character. They fight for their food... small cute...and growls. Sometimes I am not sure, should I laugh or cry. Sometimes I do both.

Now, as I sit here and try to drink my coffee, write at the same time.. I can see, that they are on the move. Small ones.. Thank God, bigger are in sleep, as well the dogs.

Lately I have felt that I´m some sort of feeding machine, I start in one place and when I´m in the end of the line...I shall start all over again.. :D

That is the reason...I haven´t been too active here. I do have my hands full till next week. Then...finally...those kittens are going to their  new home. Not too soon, I think... Dont get me wrong, they are so cute and nice..but the work...and my training..and cleaning the house... and and... I totally need a holiday!

Right now it´s snowing out and I should go to store.. toilet paper is good inspiration: when it´s finish the car moves faster.

And...as I tried to write something..these two were with me...

 This one is Tahvo, Barney in English. I think that he looks totally like Tahvo! This one will stay with us...he´s at home. What was I thinking..oh well....what´s done is done. :D
 Yep...my coffee...

 Tahvo´s sister... she is very active, too... 
I´m not alone...ever. 

I think that I shall go to store. In my car...there´s no animals :D 

Have a great day

with love
Maarit and Barney..Tahvo in Finnish