torstai 28. huhtikuuta 2016

good enough?

I started new blog ,again, and now I have been written it often. This blog is always my way of think and deal things. That other is (again) about beauty and stuff.

But why I have started and quit so many times about that issue? I really didn t knew. I mean, I do love those subject and I know something about those, too. But keeping a blog? That was hard for me.
In home, it so easy to talk about those, and give advises to my friends.

Reason: I didnt trust me enough. I didnt feel, like I´m even near to be able to write about beauty. Because...I´m not beautiful enough. I´m old. And I´m my mind: not right shape by my body.

So...I didnt really think of those, but those were in my head anyway.

I kind of shoot a torpedo to my trying. Not good enough.

Funny thought, I´m brave enough to write here about all that has happen in my past, but about fashion? I was in lock.

Self image is in so deep, I see.. and it really can get your way to do what you would love to do.

Now.. as I sit here.. with great back pain...(because I didnt stretch after training) I need to take a another view to me. Am I good enough? Do I have something to say there? And how much does my thinking limit my doings.
Oh yes, there´s also one thing friend from past. Let´s just say, I wasnt good enough as I was. Or how I wanted to put myself, when we went out. That could be one reason, too... yes, it is one strong reason.

I thought that I was getting over it..but... now I realize that I´m not over it, yet. I´m gonna fight against those thoughts.

I just need to bring me here and now. To trust me...with this. Why on earth it is so hard! Maybe I just have to break my comfort zone there too! It is easier to brake it while training.. silly? Yes.

With all this that I have wrote now..I did some thinking at the same time. I wrote as I felt, so if this is confusing.. I just hope that you got my point?
That is, how much we can be our way to do what we love. I know, that my head was (is) in my way and I need to change it.

Cause every time, that I start that kind of blog.. I feel joy and sorrow at the same time.
I want feel more that joy... not sorrow, because I think: I´m not good enough to write this....

Kuvahaun tulos haulle quotes about self image

with huge love

keskiviikko 20. huhtikuuta 2016

one skill at the time

I bought Photoshop yesterday. Yipii! And... what the h#ll are those buttons? What does that mean? Where did my pic go!!! How did I do that???

So, my career as an image processor...still waiting. Really, it was easier to read Hebrew than use Photoshop. And I can´t read Hebrew, so...

Thank God there´s one button: online guide. There is soooo much to learn. I didnt realize, how much one can do with that! So I started to study. But I have to take one thing at the time (one day-one skill)´s not easy for novice. I´m sure that ONE day I can do more, but now... something to learn.

I love to take pictures, and yes, I love to be in those. Sometimes. But I love camera. I have always did..and because I broke my new phone..Samsung Galaxy edge 6 plus...(I´m almost crying here) ( that screen is shattered because it fell) (there was a great camera in it!) I´m using my Canon now.

Maybe that´s good thing, not holding my precious phone (gonna fix it soon!) all the time... you know, it´s so beautiful! Gold colored.. ok.

So, with Canon I go. Of course that´s good camera, because it´s a... camera. But it was so easy to use just a phone. No need to take extra- bag along, when you go out. Usually I have my phone with me all the time. Never know, what you will find when you dont have camera with you, right?

Or am I just addict for photos... maybe so.

I took these pictures yesterday near by my home. I love nature and water as a element. In these pictures, I found all I needed, inner peace. I actually sat some time in rock next to this place and just listened. Here you are:

with love

tiistai 12. huhtikuuta 2016

Breathing in that Spring

Last 8 days has been challenging to me: I have been in flu. No big deal, just a flu, but I had some stress about training...or rather: not training now. I have use to this my own routine, 4-5 times walk/run and 4 times gym.
Few time I have had smaller flu in past, but not too much time away from training. So for me this is a very long time... hard because I miss training and also! What if my hard work goes down to toilet... really.... :D in 8 days? No way... but that´s hat I was afraid. That´s a bit stupid from me.

Yesterday I was fixing berry bushes, we have those a lot here. In Spring you have to be careful outside, not to wear too much..or too little. I did those both yesterday and gaboom: small fever.

So, here I am now, sitting in our back terrace, looking for sun and breathing. Now, finally, I think that it´s ok to rest sometimes, and while resting... why not enjoy about that?

I hear all those different birds singing, doing their spring- stuffs... our dogs are in yard, just resting in sun... smelling the cat is hunting mouses...I have my coffee here...what more can I ask? This is such a serene moment now.

Spring is both hectic time as it is time of wonders. Wonders of nature. Thing start to grow, things that needs to plant..fixing yard...I just love this time! Everything is waking, and you can see it every day. every day is coming something new.. nature is coming more and more green.. some small flowers are up already.
Also, days are longer, so there´s more and more light for us. Here in North it´s a big deal, since our winter is dark and long.

Wish you could be here now.. such a great moment! :)

This one is from yesterday, but idea is same..

Spring <3 Welcome!

with love